We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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