Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
