its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
where are you?
Hypothermia
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
