i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
