Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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