also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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