I skipped work to stalk him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
