The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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