I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
