Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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