I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
