I'm going to jail i love you
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
