Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Houston, we have a squirter
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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