my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
