i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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