i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
