I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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