evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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