What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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