I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
