I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
