You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
