im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
