Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
