Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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