Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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