He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
