So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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