wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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