I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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