I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
