maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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