U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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