I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
