How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
