If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
