Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
