Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
