We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
