I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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