remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
