It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
last night I used snow as a chaser
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
