so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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