You can't motorboat a personality
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
