It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
