i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
