i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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