singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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