He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
