Porn is love you can see.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
