she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
