it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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