I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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