We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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